The wheel keeps turning

I'd like to know who or what has taken over my son. My even-tempered boy has suddenly taken to throwing extravagant tantrums once more and to sheer defiance. It has taken me completely off guard, and I admit I have not reacted as ideally as I would like. Being a mom who is so concerned with not screwing this parenting thing up too badly, I tend to over-analyze the situation: why is he behaving this way? What need am I not filling? Is it because he knows mom and dad are separating without being directly told? Is it because he doesn't attend preschool anymore? I'm sure the reality is that it's a perfectly natural, normal part of development, but I'm so eager to raise a "good" boy that I am often guilty of overlooking the obvious in an attempt to be proactive. Silly mom...

More often than not I find myself staring in my boy's face and feeling constantly surprised that I'm actually seeing a boy now and not a baby or even a toddler so much anymore. He's a boy, a "real" boy, and I'm often overwhelmed with the sensation that it's all happening too fast. Such a funny thought considering only 3 1/2 years ago I thought every day was an eternity and secretly wished time would fast forward just enough to bring me some sense of peace in mothering (have I mentioned my boy was a colicky baby?). And even in the midst of his periods of testing his limits, I still have the awareness that I should embrace these moments because in time I'll miss them.

What I really should do is take a deep breath, give my boy a big hug and a kiss, and just play.