The Way Back

As I've been mulling over different styles of homeschooling and considering what might work best for us, I've also been trying to decide when to start.  Tonight it occurred to me that we would not be "starting" anything.  Rather, we'd be returning to the way of learning we embraced in the beginning:  following our bliss.  

Doran and I had a great conversation today after I revealed to him (with his "permission") who his teacher would have been for first grade.  We talked about his experience in kindergarten, what events were good for him and which ones were bad.  One instance in particular stuck out for both of us, an occasion when he expressed feelings of frustration regarding his pairing of reading partner (she was still struggling with letter recognition at the time and he was reading fluently and independently).  He shared with me for the first time today that he feels it was at that moment that he became less interested in reading.

My heart broke hearing his honest confession, and I remembered my own reaction to the phone call I received about the incident.  I automatically took the teacher's side and made my son feel guilty for having needs that weren't being met in the situation.  I apologized to him today and thanked him for sharing with me.  It was eye-opening to say the least.

So as I think about when we'll start this new adventure, I realize that we're not really starting anything.  We'll just be returning to the philosophy that worked well for us in the beginning:  play has worth and learning is more meaningful when done in an environment of joy and pleasure.  What a timely reminder for both of us!

 

Exploring Options

Unschooling.  The word excites and frightens me.  It is in complete opposition to the educational system with which I grew up and yet it is so deliciously appealing.  I sit and imagine what my son's experience of life would be if he was free to explore his own interests in his own time.  What would my experience be like?  How would he grow and how would I change?  I'm so acutely aware of my control issues and just the idea of releasing them so drastically brings an exhilarating sense of freedom.  

But I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around it.  No curriculum?  At all?  But I love curriculum!  No schedule?  No checklists?  What about that state-mandated assessment test he would need to complete at the end of each school year?  Will he be able to "make it" in the "real world" without formal education?  That requires a great deal of trust not only in him but in me and the world around me.  What an intense test of faith.

And the TV/video game issue, not to mention chores and allowance.  Can I trust my child to eventually learn to self-regulate how much time he spends in front of the computer or TV?  Part of me says, "Yes.  Take today for example."  He and I had no vehicle so we walked to the library, then to lunch, then to ice cream for dessert and finally back home.  He played computer games for about 30 minutes before we moved onto playing board and card games.  Several hours later we watched TV together, snuggling on the couch, laughing at slapstick comedy.  We then read a great book, chatted one last time, and it was time for him to go to bed.  We stayed so busy with being together that he barely asked for screen time at all.  It was a good day.

I've said frequently that I just want my boy to be happy.  I also want to raise a sensitive, compassionate, responsible person who contributes to the world around him in some way.  I have just enough romanticism to believe he can be all of that and just enough practicality to find the way to make it happen.