Wishing it was nostalgia

I stumbled upon a page for "Historic Photos & Prints of Breastfeeding" on facebook, fanned by a fabulous new mom, and I scrolled through each print or photo in complete fascination. Sure, I see plenty of breastfeeding women on a very regular basis, but these women are mostly nursing newborns. In these pictures, women are nursing older babies and toddlers, and it just looks so awesome to me. I read the comments of other fans, and while praising the moms in the images also reminisce about their own lovely breastfeeding past. And in that moment I wished I could reminisce too.

Breastfeeding was such a challenge for me. Dear son and I got off to a great start, as evidenced by his having the proper number of wet and soiled diapers in the first week, but shortly thereafter the balance shifted, and my supply could no longer meet his demand. And dear son did not hesitate to voice his displeasure. I gave all I could give him, until not a drop more could be squeezed, and it just wasn't sufficient to fill his belly. After 3 months of trying many different methods of increasing the supply, we stopped and our nursing relationship was over.

Looking at those pictures I wish I had been as blissed out as those moms. I wish I had been able to make it to older babyhood. I'm at peace with how my situation played out - I did the best I could, and no one could ask for more. It just looks like such a beautiful experience, holding your child close and providing such pure sustenance. But who knows? Maybe another baby will come into my life, and maybe breastfeeding will come much more easily that time around. But if not, I can still admire the women who are making excellent choices to give their children every thing they can.