Now it's really official

Doran is officially withdrawn from public school. Let the new adventure begin!

The Way Back

As I've been mulling over different styles of homeschooling and considering what might work best for us, I've also been trying to decide when to start.  Tonight it occurred to me that we would not be "starting" anything.  Rather, we'd be returning to the way of learning we embraced in the beginning:  following our bliss.  

Doran and I had a great conversation today after I revealed to him (with his "permission") who his teacher would have been for first grade.  We talked about his experience in kindergarten, what events were good for him and which ones were bad.  One instance in particular stuck out for both of us, an occasion when he expressed feelings of frustration regarding his pairing of reading partner (she was still struggling with letter recognition at the time and he was reading fluently and independently).  He shared with me for the first time today that he feels it was at that moment that he became less interested in reading.

My heart broke hearing his honest confession, and I remembered my own reaction to the phone call I received about the incident.  I automatically took the teacher's side and made my son feel guilty for having needs that weren't being met in the situation.  I apologized to him today and thanked him for sharing with me.  It was eye-opening to say the least.

So as I think about when we'll start this new adventure, I realize that we're not really starting anything.  We'll just be returning to the philosophy that worked well for us in the beginning:  play has worth and learning is more meaningful when done in an environment of joy and pleasure.  What a timely reminder for both of us!

 

Blueberry picking

Despite several posted warnings about bears in the area, Doran and I decided to see if the blueberries at Graveyard Fields were ripe for picking.  As you can tell from this picture, they were not quite ready.  We picked a few anyway and enjoyed a quiet, bear-free hike.

Now the temperature has dropped and it feels like Fall.  As that is my favorite season, I'm not complaining. Time to break out the crock pot and to start diligently knitting!

Exploring Options

Unschooling.  The word excites and frightens me.  It is in complete opposition to the educational system with which I grew up and yet it is so deliciously appealing.  I sit and imagine what my son's experience of life would be if he was free to explore his own interests in his own time.  What would my experience be like?  How would he grow and how would I change?  I'm so acutely aware of my control issues and just the idea of releasing them so drastically brings an exhilarating sense of freedom.  

But I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around it.  No curriculum?  At all?  But I love curriculum!  No schedule?  No checklists?  What about that state-mandated assessment test he would need to complete at the end of each school year?  Will he be able to "make it" in the "real world" without formal education?  That requires a great deal of trust not only in him but in me and the world around me.  What an intense test of faith.

And the TV/video game issue, not to mention chores and allowance.  Can I trust my child to eventually learn to self-regulate how much time he spends in front of the computer or TV?  Part of me says, "Yes.  Take today for example."  He and I had no vehicle so we walked to the library, then to lunch, then to ice cream for dessert and finally back home.  He played computer games for about 30 minutes before we moved onto playing board and card games.  Several hours later we watched TV together, snuggling on the couch, laughing at slapstick comedy.  We then read a great book, chatted one last time, and it was time for him to go to bed.  We stayed so busy with being together that he barely asked for screen time at all.  It was a good day.

I've said frequently that I just want my boy to be happy.  I also want to raise a sensitive, compassionate, responsible person who contributes to the world around him in some way.  I have just enough romanticism to believe he can be all of that and just enough practicality to find the way to make it happen.

It's official!

Open Minds School of Discovery is officially registered and legal for operation as of Tuesday!  I still have to withdraw Doran from public school, but the biggest part of the process has been completed.  Now to get started!

Even though we are legal, we won't officially begin taking attendance for at least a couple of weeks.  While I've been steadily and eagerly assembling materials and reading, reading, reading, I still have some loose ends to tie up before jumping in to our next big adventure.  I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions the past couple of weeks, trying to listen to my heart (and my son) and tune out other people's expectations.  I'm a people-pleasing approval seeker but my heart's desires are often unconventional, so one can only imagine the inner turmoil I experience on a regular basis.  Ultimately I've had to accept that there is no "right" answer in this situation.  I've had to make a choice between two appealing options and hope my intuition leads me well as it has many times before.

So I'm nervous and excited and eager to see what adventures await!  I know we'll face challenges and I may even feel like giving up, but I know neither one of us will be the same for the experience, and that feels just wonderful.

Best of all, I have a new-found reason to blog more frequently (I know, I know, I've said that before).  I think this will be a great way to document our experience.  I'll even schedule time into our day for it.  Goodness knows that's the only way it'll get done!

One of those weeks

Have you ever had one of those weeks where almost everything you encounter just moves you?  From the obvious moments like when your child smiles at you just before giving you a huge embrace to the normally insignificant things like when you watch a person in one car allow another person to enter the horrific traffic before him.  Listening to the birds chatter while you sit on your porch drinking quality coffee because you felt you were worth the splurge.  Watching your cat and rabbit play chase then snuggle.  Spending time with good friends who refresh your soul like a tall glass of ice cold lemonade on a hot summer day after mowing the lawn.  Smelling the fresh mown lawn after a passing rain shower.  Reading beautiful quotes and finding new authors whose works you're excited to read.  I could go on.

I'm having one of those weeks where it feels like the Universe is smiling at me, holding me and letting me know it's all going to be just fine.  It's exactly what I need and I'm overwhelmingly grateful.

Making your heart sing

I once had a friend ask me, "What makes your heart sing?  Whatever it is, that's what you should do."  I have spent the last few months of sober living carefully pondering that question.  What makes my heart sing?  What makes me feel joy more often than not, makes me feel glad to be alive, is my sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day?  What am I most passionate about?

The answer is my son.  Not in an obsessive, co-dependent way.  I don't live my life solely for my son or through my son (trust me, Pokemon would not be my choice for games to play) but being his mother is the best experience I've ever had.  I regularly feel humbled and blessed by and incredibly grateful for his presence in my life.  Being a mom, his mom, makes my heart sing. And this is why we've decided together to give homeschooling a shot this year.

I've tried to think of a succinct answer to the inevitable question of "why?"  Why am I making this choice?  I'm not unhappy with the school system.  He had a great kindergarten teacher and made some lovely friends, friends with whom we'll remain in touch, I'm sure.  So why?  If his experience wasn't overall bad why would I decide to homeschool now? 

I've done a lot of reading on the topic and one of the reasons others have given truly resonates with me.  I don't want to miss anything.  I brought my son into the world with intention.  I made a very conscious choice to raise him, guide him, teach him and, when the time is right, let go and watch him tackle the world all on his own.  Perhaps it sounds selfish but I want to be the one to share those precious moments of education with him.  I want to share this journey with him, guide him and help him find where he can work out his own answers.  We will only have this time once and to say it is fleeting is an understatement.  I truly believe it takes a village to raise a child, but I also believe I should have more active say in which villagers get to participate.

Just thinking about homeschooling excites me, and Doran is also enthusiastic at being able to learn what he wants, when he wants and how he wants (within reason, of course).  We'll officially start in September, so wish us luck as we start this new adventure!